Wow, Time Flies. I think we just had New Year’s Eve a few weeks ago. Either time moves faster or we move slower as age and circumstances come along our life’s journey. I was prompted to think about this particular subject by reading a group writing project by Daniel Scocco and Connie Ragan Green
At a recent gathering, we asked the question of dinner guests;
Was last year happy or horrible for you? After everyone had finished moaning and groaning about some aspects of the past year, I taught them a trick I use to help children be more positive. This is also a great way to teach ourselves and our children to be problem solvers.
But Then….
As a parent educator I hear all the stories of negative thoughts and pessimistic families. Parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches and day care providers want to know how to turn negative thoughts, and whiny voices to positive actions.
A technique we used was to allow the child (or adult) to vent and then to say “But then…” and ask them to tell us something positive that came out of the experience. Sometimes they decided it wasn’t worth the effort to be mad. Or perhaps they realized that there are some things in life you can not change, and so you change what you can and do not worry about the other things.
Life Lesson 101
No one has a life that is completely happy or completely horrible. Most of our joy comes in little bursts of pleasure and enjoyment. Most of our disappointment come in little bursts of frustration or being overwhelmed.
We all have the answers and solutions in our mind and spirit. Sometimes we just need a little nudge to remember or think of them. There are at least five solutions to every situation and it feels good to be able to come up with an idea you had never considered before.
Lists of Negative and Positive
If you are making a list and checking it twice, be sure to ask yourself what you learned from each negative or horrible experience? Empower yourself by finding ways to turn horrible into happy.
Your friend and supporter,
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and motivational speaker
http://www.UseEncouragingWords.com
“But then…” Yes, I like that very much. I’m sticking it on my monitor so when someone complains to me I will be able to remember to suggest, “But then…” Thank you, Judy, for helping people turn horrible into happy!
Thanks for the reminder that we have all the answers right inside … AND that joy comes in bursts. I love that – and wish you many joys in the coming year … and the wisdom to use “But then” as needed!
Really great advice and so easy to follow. Good to have a reminder. Audrey
This is a great technique Judy. I’m going to suggest this to a few adults that I know who I know complain frequently. Seeing the “other side” of the experience is what makes the experience richer. If you’re going to go through it you may as well learn something from it.
Thanks for the reminder.
I love the ‘but then’ suggestion – I’ll remember to use it myself and will share it with others. It helps me get unstuck from the problem and move on to solutions or more positive outcomes.
Deb